All Those Faces

In Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, Shunryu Suzuki wrote that "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few." As with the start of every new semester, my mind tends toward the beginner, the person who is optimistic and energetic, the teacher who hopes to transmit at least a bit of helpful knowledge to those who seek it. I see similar minds in many of my students, as well--a willingness to attend class, to complete assignments. More than a few of these students, certainly, are there because the course is required by one entity or another, and that is fine. I have, though, violated many possible rules by telling students that if they are there because their parents told them they had to be, they should go home. Stupid, yes.

I sinned early this semester by allowing too many people into my course, so many that a few must sit on the floor in a room that is cramped and stuffy. I am not sure why I made the choice I did--and it certainly was a choice--but the first day of class I looked out over the crowd of students and felt a certain sense of compassion (something that people who know me might say is an anomaly): so many funding cuts, so few classes open or available, so many students needing "just this class" to move on to somewhere else.

A price will be paid later in the semester, of course. By me, mostly: all those essays and exams to grade. During those nights I an staring at a stack of 4-page papers, I will think, "That beginner's mind needs help."