Things We Didn't Say Yesterday: #1

They all thought it would be me

He tried come up with a word to describe a place that wasn't even spartan. The two-bedroom apartment seemed large: nothing more than a sofa in the living room, a bed and a dresser in the larger bedroom. Nothing in the second, smaller bedroom. Not even boxes. He looked around and thought, This is just like the office: some cubicles decorated, others bare. His cubicle was bare not because he had nothing to share or show, but because he thought adding photos and knick-knacks meant he'd have to stay there awhile. When it was time to leave he didn't want to worry about packing.

Being by himself after 10 years of marriage hadn't been bad so far, but he knew that being alone for a few days was the easy part. He wondered if Cindy was lonely, though that she had the house probably made things easier on her. "You keep your retirement money, Chris, and I keep the house," Cindy had said early on, when they'd first started negotiating who got what. "It's a fair deal."

The cellphone's ring was loud in the apartment. "Hello." It was Philip.

"Chris--you moved in?"

Chris looked around. "Looks like it. I need a TV, though."

Phil coughed. "Maybe you don't."

"No, I do."

"You angry today?"

"About what."

"Really? There's nothing you think you should be angry about?"

Chris thought about it, about how not getting angry about much had caused his ex-wife no small amount of frustration. "I'd feel a lot better if I only knew when you were mad," Cindy had said. He shifted the cellphone to the other ear and sat on the sofa, across from where he envisioned a TV. "No, Phil, I'm not angry."

"Bullshit."

"I'm really not. Not yet. In fact, I kind of feel vindicated."

"About what?"

"About how things turned out, that she was the one who started the divorce-ball rolling."

"How is that vindication?"

"Her family," Chris said. "They always thought that if things got bad between Cindy and me, that I'd be the one to blame. They all thought it would be me."

"You showed them," Phil said, laughing.

"I showed them something, I guess," Chris said.