I Read the News Today...See Ya Norman

By Lazlo Kominski

Norman Mailer is dead.

Bukowski. Vonnegut. Milosz. All epic men. All now dead.

VHOPE must think I have barged in here like a drunk uncle with a flat tire looking for a beer and needing to use the phone then the bathroom two nights in a row. "Mind if I spend the night your couch looks empty thanks gotta beer?"

I will try to act like a guest. From the looks of things, we are all guests here. And as Jack Nicholson's character said in The Departed, "Act accordingly!"

Norman has checked out. We were on a first name basis though he never returned the favor since we never met.

This evening I picked up TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE.

"He might wash his hands after making love, but, no, I would not call him a swish."

Then ANCIENT EVENINGS.

"With or without a face, a dead and naked Egyptian does not look like a dead Asiatic. We have less hair on our bodies."

And then PICASSO.

"To the contrary, he was always reminded, and would remind others, of his extraordinary powers."

These books were opened randomly to a page. Quick scan and finger point. Boom.

Raise a glass. Sing a song. Drink it loud.

"Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole"

--Words and Music by Jonathan Richman as sung by John Cale